Whats in a Name

I don't know how you feel about your name.  I have always loved my first and middle name.  Paige Renay, it just has a ring to it.  Out of curiosity I used to ask my parents other names that they thought of naming me.  The actual name they wanted to give me was Hannah.  I don't mean to offend anyone that likes the name Hannah or is named Hannah.  It just never was my cup of tea.  Maybe because I like my name so much and it would be weird to think of being called something else.

I tell you all this to show you God's sense of humor and timing in my life.  "Why you might ask"?  Well recently I finished a book entitled Hannah's Hope by Jennifer Saake.  The cover boasts, "Seeking God's heart in the midst of infertility, miscarriage and adoption loss."  I had heard a lot about this book but I felt like I had read other books about infertility before and I didn't think this one would offer much.  Plus there is the whole Hannah complex.  Boy was I wrong.

If you are reading this its probably because you are related to me or practically related to me for that matter.  You are what this book defines as my burden bearer.  This road hasn't been easy for us but I want to thank you and give you some insight as well.  At the end of every chapter she has a burden bearers section that is specific to those who are close friends or those who are helping to carry this burden.  These are a few of the sections that I have had to deal with more than other or that spoke to me.


"There may be times I need to opt out of family gatherings.  Reunions, watching your kids rip open packages under the tree on Christmas morning, baby dedications, your child's birthday party -any of these may be too fresh a reminder of the reality that may never be mine.

"If you are in the process of attempting to conceive, as how I would like to receive your news.  (I may prefer face to face contact, a brief phone call, a not in the mail, or have a mutual friend tell me on your behalf so that I can work out my grief privately before contacting you to share your joy.)  If you are already expecting and don't know how to tell me, please find some way to quietly inform me before your joy becomes public knowledge, so that your new isn't sprung on me in public, where I may be unable to cope."

"Please be patient with me as I pass through the ugly stage of bitterness.  It can be a long process, so try not to be judgemental.  Pray that I will handle my anger in a God-honoring manner and that the Lord will guard my heart against invasive acidity of soul."

"Don't suggest that my infertility will be resolved if I, "just adopt".  Adoption may (or may not) be a part of God's plan for us, but both infertility and adoption are issues we need to work through one step at a time."

"While I'm waiting, please don't ask me if I'm pregnant each time you see me.  While I appreciate the loving support, the constant reminders can cause me to become more discontent with God's timing."

"Just because I'm not a mother by traditional definition, please don't discount my thoughts with statements such as, "You don't understand because you're not a mom".


Please be patient with us, please know we love you and please know that we love you.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
                                       Romans 8:28